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|Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It's all in the grip.Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?A: Vibrato.Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?A: Add vibrato.Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Michael Brecker would have done it.