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Irish Drinking
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it.... Read more...
Two friends were out drinking...
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his bar stool and lay motionless on the floor.... Read more...
Designated Drunk
One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the... Read more...
A honest drunk
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir, I need you to blow... Read more...

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Warning labels
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Drunks
Sunday, 25 June 2006 19:00

If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants (panties) anyway. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really huge biker guy named "Big Al".
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