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Answering Machine At Mental Institute
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Miscellaneous
Tuesday, 16 October 2007 16:04
Answering Machine At Mental Institute"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

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written by That Guy , October 19, 2007
That'd be great if that really was an answering machine message. smilies/grin.gif
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written by rik frm macc , October 26, 2007
smilies/grin.gif one funny joke dt
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written by doooooog360 , October 28, 2007
exellent
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written by chloe14 , November 02, 2007
heard it before not as funny the second time...
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written by angel* , December 20, 2007
hehe smilies/grin.gif
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written by Your girlfriend's boyfriend , January 15, 2008
rotfl rotfl lololololollololollollol ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahah
aahahhahahahahahaahahahah i couldnt stop laughing
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written by jk44 , January 17, 2008
"If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up."
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written by so Who , January 21, 2008
That was great
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written by I , January 21, 2008
smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif
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written by Ryu , January 28, 2008
smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif THAT IS AWESOME!
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written by Samuel 13 , January 29, 2008
I had to write this between tears
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written by boldandBUGGER , March 11, 2008
this wasnt that funny but it was a good joke
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written by paycheck grabber , April 20, 2008
HA! HA! HA! that was a good one
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written by ? , May 07, 2008
i dont get it smilies/wink.gif
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written by Stfu , September 15, 2008
My mom's all of the above! =/
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written by maryeb , December 14, 2008
I loved this one and actually I have heard it as an answering phone message...my sister of all people sent it to me.. gee thanks sis lol.
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